Ode to Endo Sisters

Endometriosis, the cruellest of cruel
I wish I had known back when I was in school
How life would be when I became a teen
I wish I’d known that life could be so mean
There’s no way to prepare for the endless pain
No way of knowing if you’ll ever be the same
Hours of torture, lasting days, even weeks
Getting by on morphine, drugged up so to speak
Cancelling socials, losing friends you once had
Oh why wasn’t I prepared that things would be so bad
Constantly battling to prove it’s not in your head
Constantly aching to jump freely out of bed
A longing to be heard, or that someone will hear
Then another “Oh it’s normal”, then come the tears
A long, lonely road of despair may follow
Faced along the way with sadness and sorrow
Never knowing what tomorrow will bring
But at least you can always be sure of one thing
Your endo sisters will always be there
Always showing they understand and care
Never to put you down or even forget you
And always to know that they’ve been there too
So had I known then, what I know now
I don’t think I’d have my wonderful sisters, and I don’t know how
I would have faced more surgery, and got through the days
Or have the strength to fight, or know the ways
See with endometriosis, it’s a chronic condition
But one thing’s for sure; it won’t stop my ambition
I thank you all for helping me through
And please please know - I’ll always be here for you.

This was originally posted by one of my very dear friends here: http://lizdiamond81.blogspot.com/2009/01/ode-to-endo-sisters-endometriosis.html

After the week I've had it's made me realise that no matter what or how long it's been since we've spoken the girls on the endo forum will always rally round with helpful advice.

Love to them all xxx

Thinking...

It's been another weird day today.

I heard an RTA....or rather the "thud" of a pedestrian getting knocked over, it was pretty scary stuff. Especially seeing an almost lifeless body lying in the middle of the road. Fortunately the woman is in a stable condition and will hopefully be ok.

It got me thinking to be honest. Do the people I care about and call friends know how I feel about them? How hard is it to tell our friends we love them. You never know what's coming around the corner. I try and tell my friends I love them, even if it's once a month.

The place where it gets complicated is if there's someone you're attracted to. Do you take the chance and blurt out how you feel about them? Do you keep it to yourself because you fear the rejection?

I'm not asking these questions with the hope of any answer, I know it's an individual thing. It's just something I've been thinking about lately.

In the meantime I'm gonna try and get rid of the "thud" that's still echoing around my head and the image I get every time I close my eyes.

To my friends, I love you all so much. You're the ones that lift me up when I'm down, make me laugh when all I want to do is cry. Some of you don't realise just how some silly little thing you say or do can totally change my mood and I can honestly say that I'd be lost without some of you xx

A really odd night out...

I was out in Chapel Allerton with Kay and the boys earlier and had such a bizarre experience.

We were sat around with a few cheeky cocktails having a goss, when out of the corner of my eye I spot someone who looked far too much like my ex to not be him. I then spent the next 10 minutes totally oblivious to the conversation while I looked for this look-a-like.

I finally spotted him sat outside the bar, smoking...and heaved a HUGE sigh of relief...it wasn't him. I couldn't handle seeing him again, last time we bumped into each other we ended up doing something pretty stupid.

He'd text me a few weeks ago and I'd deleted his number so after finding out who it was I ignored his messages.

My mate Em is trying to make it her mission in life to get us back together but I don't want that. He lacks passion and to be honest, he bores me. He might have been a great guy to date a few years ago but I'm just not into him at all now.

Wondering who's been reading my blog...just noticed the reader counter has shot up in a very small amount of time...*waves to mysterious readers* Hey!!

I really shouldn't be blogging so late at night (ok, early in the morning) I'll probably just make myself cry again, lol!

Plus I can't make any sense of what's going on in my head so there's no point attempting to blog it.

xx

10 reasons why I hate spam email or 1 reason I secretly am grateful for it

I don't know how to write this without sounding like a total sap.

I checked my email and realised that my account had been spam attacked and was spewing the stuff to every contact in my address book. So I go through and start deleting all the emails until I came across one from my mum who I hadn't spoken to for over a month.

I guess the reason why I'm grateful is that after that awful argument this one stupid email has enabled us to communicate.

There's been things that have happened lately that I wanted to talk to my mum about. I may be 23 years old but I still rely on my parents a lot since they're the only people who truly know me and it's killed me not talking to her. You know for all the times I say my mum's not there for me, she was the one who sat up with me on the phone until silly o clock in the morning when I'd rung up in floods of tears because I'd just found out about the endo and I was terrified I wouldn't be able to have kids. I'm still terrified now but not to the extent I was back then.

I don't know if things will ever be the same again between us but it's nice to know she's there.

Rugby Fun

I have nothing that interesting to say at the moment so instead, here's a pic of me all psyched up to cheer on my boys at Headingly on Friday night. An average game really, both teams could have performed so much better but we got the result we wanted. Many best wishes and a speedy recovery to Chev Walker (ex leeds rhinos player, now plays for Hull KR) who was out of the match within the first 15 minutes with a fractured shin. THERE'S ONLY ONE CHEV WALKER!!!!

Just doing the vain girl thing...I hadn't really noticed until now how tired I look :s and I look slightly better in that pic since I have the war paint on.

xx

The definition of a Luddite

I googled the term luddite for a friend as she didn't know what it meant and found out it's origins. I never knew it dated back to the 1800's.

Luddite

1. A Luddite is a person who dislikes technology, especially technological devices that threaten existing jobs or interfere with personal privacy.
2. A Luddite is someone who is incompetent when using new technology.
The word Luddite has an interesting origin in pop culture of the early 1800's. Legend has it that a young man name Ned Ludd broke an expensive knitting machine in Nottingham, England. Because Ned was considered to be "feeble-minded" by his boss, he wasn't held financially responsible for the broken equipment. Afterwards, when factory equipment broke, the damage was always blamed on Ned Ludd.
During the Industrial Revolution, when factory workers organized to express their dissatisfaction with work conditions, the legend of Ned Ludd was politicized. One well-known method of protest was for workers to dress up in disguise and visit a factory owner late at night. The workers, claiming they had been sent by General Ned Ludd, demanded changes in the workplace. The invocation of Ned Ludd's name made it clear to the factory owner that if the demands weren't met, the owner's expensive machinery would be destroyed. The Luddites enjoyed a kind of Robin Hood reputation and the movement was generally supported by the public until a protest at a Lancashire mill went terribly wrong and several people were killed.

Copyright to http://whatis.techtarget.com/definition/0,,sid9_gci883880,00.html