Saturday 28 February 2009

Still...You Turn Me On - Emerson, Lake and Palmer



One of my favourite songs...how awesome was music in the seventies?!

xx

Friday 27 February 2009

Hmmm the Second

Had a very odd day today. I had two agency interviews in town (both a waste of time, payroll work isn't going to pick up until March/year end). Got home and checked my email to find an email from an agency in the Netherlands about a job over there and my interest as a Payroll Co-ordinator....argh!!!

I'm starting to kick myself a bit now because I've turned it down and Jo has said to me tonight 'don't let life pass you by'. She's right but she doesn't know the full story about my dad.

It's bloody bad timing. I'd love to go over there, the contract would be fixed term for a year and if after that year and my review everything went well I could choose to stay on and would be offered a permanent job. Obviously I'd be able to come back home at anytime.

Maybe I should start learning Italian and hope some fabulous company wants me to work for them over there...that would be fab!!

xx

Wednesday 25 February 2009

I do wonder if anyone reads this blog...never mind if they don't it's very therapeutic getting stuff of my chest.

My dad had his oncology appointment yesterday. The SPR he saw seems to be pretty sure it isn't a secondary cancer which is such a weight off my mind. They've taken a blood test to check his PSA (Prostate Specific Antigen) and do a full screen on his bloody, a urine sample because the SPR seems to think it the remnants of an infection that's never been picked up on and he's got to have a scan so they'll be fitting him in for it ASAP with the fact there is still that risk it could be a secondary and to check what's going on.

So we get to play the waiting game again.

On a happier note, I do get to see McSnotface again later today which I can't wait for.

xx

Sunday 22 February 2009

Mad Weekend!!

I've had an amazing weekend! Was my friend Blue's 30th last weekend and so Jo, Lara and I packed our cases and headed down for a night on the town!!

The song of the trip is a toss up between...Don't Stop Believing by Journey and Ashes to Ashes by David Bowie.

Best smutty one liner goes to McSnotface - Going down is easier.

We were trying to find out way to the hotel through a shopping centre, we went up the steps (with all our luggage) to find the cut through was shut.

There was lots of drinking, dancing and blue eye make up! I had such a fab time with a group of amazing ladies!

We started off in the hotel with our very own make shift bar, went to Weatherspoons for some food and then headed over to the venue for 9pm where we chatted, drank and danced until about midnight when we headed over to Flame.

Flame was such a hoot! It's a gay bar in Luton. I was a bit pissed (ok..I was very drunk) and did a bit of bump and grind with this guy who was straight!!! It was hilarious, he then moved on to Cat (Blue's twin sister), classy bloke!!!

I luckily didn't end up in the same state that I did in London, I remember all of the night and I STAYED AWAY FROM THE SAMBUCA!!!!

Was paying for it a bit this morning, felt so sick! The drive back was awful because they're widening the M1 so they're doing an average speed check and it just felt like it took forever to get through it.

I put Tom's theory into practice...ufortunately McSnotfaces hands aren't a perfect fit :(

Anyway, going to post some snapshots of my mad weekend!

xx

Saturday 21 February 2009

Woohoo!!!

Not long to go to Luton and then not only am I reunited with my McSnotface but I *finally* get to meet the lovely Miss Munts. Evil so and so called me a tease earlier on my Facebook status though...I'm so not!! Honestly, I'm not! I just flirt and don't realise I'm doing it!

I need sleep though, don't want to be asleep in the hotel instead of dancing the night away!

I'm sure I'll have a full report and lots of pictures when I get back on Sunday!!

xx

Friday 20 February 2009

I'm a lucky girl

...I've got the best friends a girl could ask for. They know exactly what to say when I'm feeling down in the dumps. Granted I have burst into tears three times today since my appointment because of the fact they were being too nice to me after the disaster.

My appointment went exactly how I expected it to go...I was told to go on the pill and discharged. There were no other options offered so I'm just going to try and manage on the painkillers every month. The only downside to that is that I'll need to see my GP and evaluate my painkillers because the dihydracodiene totally spaces me out which can be funny but confusing for any poor people I'm talking to at the time when I go giggly and generally dopey. I was devastated earlier but there's not a lot I can do. Now they know the problem is when I get my visitor and about a fortnight before I don't think they'll refer me to the gastro team. I feel a lot better than I did before the surgery.

My dad kinda upset me earlier cos he said I was no where near as bad before I had my first lap which is the one that really fucked me up. I don't know, if I could go back now with the knowledge I've got I don't think I'd have had my first lap done by the guy who did it. Hindsight it 20/20 though and there's nothing at all I can do to change it.

I've had a two hour cat nap and I'm bloody knackered but my body is refusing to switch off and sleep, still got everything else spinning around in my head.

Oh well...I'm escaping to Luton this weekend and I can't wait! I plan on getting absolutely draked! And if for some reason (which given the way I'm feeling at the moment it will happen) I start crying my McSnotface has already said she'll give me all the hugs I need.

I can honestly say I'd be lost without my mates and even though we all live so far apart I know if I needed one of them I could call or text them and they'd come straight to Leeds, just the same way I'd do that for them.

Right, I MUST go to bed, sitting here is doing me no good!
xxx

Thursday 19 February 2009

Insomnia....Good Times :D

Mwahahahaha! I have spent almost three hours in the bath...I think that is a personal best. Nothing nicer than having a long soak in the tub and pondering life, the universe and everything! Well...it does get better if you have someone to wash your back but I'm not complaining about the total lack of someone to do that.

Now, I'm sure (if there's anybody out there?!) you're wondering how I managed to spend almost three hours in the bath. Hmm, was I wanking away? No, sorry to disappoint but I was actually lost in steam, bubbles and Marsha Mellow and Me. Fab book, laugh out loud funny.

For the perverts out there...fine I was wanking like mad...was GOOD! ;)

It's the one thing I couldn't live without. I lurve my bath. It's a nice place to escape to when everything is going a bit pear shaped. My problems haven't gone, in fact the one for today is happening in just about 3 hours time.

I also make my best decisions in the bath, I'm going to have my hair chopped off. Nothing too drastic, just cut into a bob and then a crazy amount of layers put in so I can be all sleek and straight for work and flick it out for nights out. The only problem I can see is when I'm back at work I can see me not being arsed to do my hair in the morning but I've had it like that before and I've managed in the past.

Some bad news today McSnotface isn't coming to Leeds. The inconsiderate prick that Jason was meant to be seeing booked Friday off work BUT Jase has rescheduled for next Wednesday so depending on what McSnotface is working next week (she's on a phased return to work after major surgery) she could be coming up to Leeds so I get to see her all this weekend AND next Wednesday. Other bad news, one of the other dirty sewer kittens (Sadie) decided it would be fun to not only fall down one flight of stairs but TWO. She put on her facebook she'd fallen down the stairs, I thought 'typical Sades', turns out her leg is in a brace, she's not allowed to put any weight on it and the chance of her making it to Blue's 30th in Luton is slim to none. *cries* It won't be the same without her but I'm more concerned that she's ok.

In fact something else I had decided on whilst in the bath is this. Tom (Sadie's hubby) came up with this marvellous idea for finding my perfect partner: 'Ask them to cup your boob, if their hand fits it's a definite yes'. So since I'm having a pretty major dry spell I think I'm going to go with it ;)

On a more serious note, I went to see a solicitor today. I finally told my mum about the reply I'd had from my previous employers about the concerns I had with my team leader revealing personal information about me and they have admitted she not only gave a reference but revealed strictly confidential information about me. I've got some leads to follow up on that but I'm now going to have to be very tight lipped about what I say.

My life is never easy, but it'd be dull if it was plain sailing :P

xx

Tuesday 17 February 2009

Stressed...me?!

All is not good in my world at the moment. My dad is currently hypertensive and is having to see his oncologist earlier than expected because he's having problems which is why I'm terrified. I'm sure he's ok, well he's got to be cos if he's not I'll kick his arse!!

I have my post op on Thursday which is always something to look forward to...lets see how many random people want to insert things into me this time shall we?!

Oh and my biggest stress/worry....THERE ARE NO BLOODY JOBS!!! I'm applying for everything I can do and I've even applied for a job where I'm under qualified but that's because the location of the job is uber cool so I had to apply on the off chance.

I seem to be the person everyone goes to for advice/to have a moan at the moment and my poor little brain cannae take it!

Oh and I'm utterly skinted which is never good.

PLEASE can someone whisk me out of my life...just for a year or two...I'd be awfully grateful.

I know it's nothing major but all the little things are starting to add up and I'm not sure how long I can juggle it all.

On a brighter note, my McSnotface is *hopefully* coming to Leeds on Friday and I'm so looking forward to seeing her; she's the girl who keeps me sane and who I can tell anything to and she won't judge me. She has known about everything since it all started and I'm pretty sure I'm going to end up blubbing on her the minute I see her but I know she won't mind because when either of us have been upset we've rung each other and sobbed down the phone. She's the person who sorted me out when I had my first post lap period and I wanted to die. I actually wanted to die, I didn't feel as awful after my surgery as I did that night. She took my mind off it, calmed me down and stayed on the phone until I fell asleep in spite of the fact she was recovering from a total hysterectomy at the time.

Gawd, I'm filling up just thinking about her. She's the one person I can depend on and I love her unconditionally. I'm a lot closer to her than I am to my mates from home. We've always been there for each other and I honestly couldn't imagine her not being a part of my life now which is funny because we only started talking about a year ago but we've gotten to be such good friends in such a short amount of time. She's like the big sister I never had.

So please keep everything crossed she can make it to Leeds on Friday, I'd be heartbroken if she couldn't!!xx

Friday 13 February 2009

Lucky - Bif Naked

It was a Monday, when my lover told me,
"Never pay the reaper with love only."
What could I say to you, except, "I love you."
And "I'd give my life for yours."

I know we are... we are the lucky ones.
I know we are... we are the lucky ones.
I know we are... we are the lucky ones, dear.

The first time we made love, I... I wasn't sober.
(and you told me you loved me over and over!)
How could I ever love another, when I miss you every day...

Remember the time we made love in the roses?
(and you took my picture in all sorts of poses!)
How could I ever get over you, when I'd give my life for yours.

I know we are... we are the lucky ones.
I know we are... we are the lucky ones.
I know we are... we are the lucky ones.
I know we are... we are the lucky ones, dear.

My dear, It's time to say I thank God for you.
I thank god for you in each and every single way.
And, I know... I know.. I know.. I know...

It's time to let you know. Time to let you know.
Time to let you know. Time to sit here and say...

I know we are... we are the lucky ones.
I know we are... we are the lucky ones.
I know we are... we are the lucky ones.
I know we are... we are the lucky ones, dear.
We are the lucky ones, dear...

Love this song, reminds me of Em and us trying to learn the lyrics in high school...who knew the Buffy soundtrack version was the 'clean' one?

Thursday 12 February 2009

Sorry for the pathetic and self pitying post in the early hours, I was sober but had got myself in a tiz about various things and it all got on top of me.

Until the 24th February is out of the way, I expect I'll be pretty up and down mood wise. Like I said in the earlier post, it's not something I can talk about but it's stopping me sleeping. I ended up having about an hours sleep this morning. I did pour my heart out to McSnotface and she's promised a massive amount of big hugs when I see her but I can see myself crying all over her, instead of crying my eyes out whilst talking to her on msn like I did this morning.

Anyway, today was the big day of three meetings, first agency meeting went well, second meeting was with Pathways to Work and the woman I spoke to was not only lovely, she was sympathetic and left me feeling really positive about going back to work, third meeting was with an another agency and given the problems I've had with another agency I am wary of them but they seem to be the best way to get a job. I don't understand it, surely it would be more cost effective for companies to actually make the Personnel (sorry Human Resources) Department actually do their bloody jobs.

As Payroll falls under the wing of HR/Personnel we usually end up getting the blame for a lot of HR cock ups...mainly an error when a new starter's information has being put together to be input by Payroll. Of course, unless we see the original information in Payroll we don't know there's an error and yet it's us that get it in the neck from a pissed off employee who hasn't been paid and it all turns out the bank account details were incorrect because some useless arse in HR transposed some of the figures...fucking clowns!

Met up with Jo and her little monkey Oliver, it's amazing, I've known Jo since Oli was four months old and to see him now, he's a proper little boy with his own cheeky character it's amazing and yet I'm still totally unbroody which is FAB!!! I think now I've got a hell of a lot of my freedom back I want to make the most of it...still recruiting for a travel buddy haha!

xx

Having a tough time

Got a lot of personal things going on, I'm trying to stay optimistic that I'm worrying for nothing but it's not helping. If it comes to the worst, I don't know what I'll do. I'm so scared.

Wednesday 11 February 2009

Tourist

Today I spent the day as a tourist in....Leeds! One thing everyone should do at some point it go around all the places in your local city that you'd never think of going to because they're always there.

Absolutely knackered now though. Had such a laugh!

Funniest moments
- Giving "birth"
- Amanda's sex noises whilst eating...me saying 'you having a wee orgasm there' some bloke walking past who overhead me saying this and proceeded to stare at Amanda whilst walking on
- Messing around with the blue screen of doom
- Seeing Morph
- Lots of larking about

I loved it but urgh...Thackray Medical Museum has a section about Leeds in 1842 with real smell included. Really smelt vile to the point Amanda and I were both retching, not recommended for anyone of a weak disposition. Something quite cool, because we gift aided our admission fees, we've now got a free pass for a year to go anytime we want to.

I saw some really bizarre and wonderful things there.

We then hopped on a train and headed to Bradford for a wander around the National Media Museum...when I was a kid it was the National Museum of Film and Photography. There were lots of cool things to look and interact with. We didn't get too long there to look around. I'm hoping to go back again after Friday as they've got a new exhibit opening called 'Bradford's Babies' which contains 'births, deaths and nudity' so it's piqued my interest.

It's been agreed we're going to do one geeky thing a month. The main problem now is a few of the things we want to do are further afield and so it's those places that are going to have to wait until I've got my car.

I can honestly say I've not laughed so much in a long time :D

Sunday 8 February 2009

Almost forgot...

...shows sometimes the government do listen :

You signed a petition asking the Prime Minister to "reclassify the DWP description so that endometriosis is no longer described under the heading of Pelvic Inflammatory Disease."

The Prime Minister's Office has responded to that petition and you can view it here: http://www.number10.gov.uk/Page18238

Prime Minister's Office Petition information - http://petitions.number10.gov.uk/Endo-definition/

If you would like to opt out of receiving further mail on this or any otherpetitions you signed, please email optout@petitions.pm.gov.uk

For anyone who doesn't know, endometriosis was classified under PID and in the entry it stated the main cause of PID is due to sexually transmitted infections. Endo IS NOT an STI. The ball ache is it's not know what causes it, there are a lot of theories ranging from an immune system deficiency to the possibility it's heriditary.

It's funny...

Any and all broodiness seemes to have left me. I've been looking at some pics on facebook of my friends gorgeous niece and I have absolutely no gooey feelings at all. I was sat here thinking...yeah cute kid and that was it....No awww I want one which about a month ago I would have.

Meeting Jo and her gorgeous little boy on Thursday and he's the one kid that you can guarantee will make me broody...lets see what happens then.

Saturday 7 February 2009

Grrr

I do not like phishing texts, in fact I can't spell phishing...keep putting phising...here's what's in my inbox tonight...

R - Steamin! Show me your tits
Me - Why?
R - Cause I want to see them and you want me to see them
Me - I don't, sorry
R - But you do! Your mistaken lol!
Me - I really don't
R - Your texting me at half 3 so you must want what I want
Me - I was being polite dear, I don't want anything
R - You are a very polite girl, thats what I like
Me - How have you made that sounds dirty?!
R - I don't make anything sound dirty! You do
Me - Sure, whatever you say
R - Look! Im horny, your horny, you have bigger tits than me! It makes sense! Why are you awake at this time?
Me - I'm not horny but I do have bigger tits
R - Yes you do! Your not horny? In that case I apologise, I got an erection over the wrong person. Sorry! x
Me - No worries haha
R - You should see it, would fill your mouth. Really fucking horny
Me - Goodnight!
R - Don't leave me, it's nearly 4 and neither of us have pulled, all I want is a shag.....
Me - Who says I've not pulled?
R - Your texting me!!!!
Me - For all you know my boyfriend or girlfriend could be reading these texts too...
R - Is she fit? I'll fuck her too! I want to see you both, naked
Me - Goodnight
R - (A picture far too rude to publish)
Me - (why I said this I'll never know...) My bird is not impressed (could have been my invisible boyfriend texting back on my behalf tho)
R - Yes she is
Me - She's not
R - Really? Im gutted
Me - Really Goodnight
R - Ok

Haha, random and so amusing...he's also commented on my status on FB...bloody men!!

It's a slow news day....

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/west_yorkshire/7874679.stm
...when an article like this is online....

A fucked up Friday

Well, the thing that well and truly fucked up my Friday apart from the Agency shit was that I asked for a copy of the letter my consultant sent my GP. They've basically discharged me from Gynae and told me to go back on the pill. I don't know why I'm so fucked off....I KNEW that's what they were going to say. The fact that the pill caused a significant increase in pain (to the point I almost ended up on oramorph) seems to be absolutely fine with them....arseholes!

I mean does it *really* matter that I end up doubled in pain when I ovulate? Does it matter that I CAN'T leave the house when I first come on my period. Indication of how bad it was, I was on the phone sobbing my heart out to my friend Lara while asking another friend to kill me. Just period pain I'll be fine :)

One thing someone said to me was I was bitter after being diagnosed...you wonder why?! Women who have severe problems are swept under the carpet without a second fucking thought.

Anyway...happy stuff - the Rhinos won tonight :D I got to perv on sexy Sinfield A LOT! My dad has told me he's buying a soundproof box for me to sit in when I'm watching the rugby at home...anyone who hasn't seen me at a match is in for a major shock. In fact, get me and Amanda together and it's no holds barred! Hopefully going to the World Club Champions game on 1st March so that should be fun. Random bit of information - they cleared over 500 tonnes (yes, TONNES) of snow off the Headingly pitch this week!!

I'm trying to relax now with a nice cold bottle of beer - it appears to be empty, ooops - and some cheesey music whilst half watching the repeat of the rugby game...drools :D

Friday 6 February 2009

Oh boy...



Too distracted by this hottie to watch the rugby properly...PHWOAR!!!!!!

Eye See You...don't look if easily freaked out


Right eye...not deformed, the optician buggered the picture.


Left Eye

Eye test time

Well I've been for my 2 yearly check up....yet another change in my prescription but finally both my eyes are at the same level, need to get some new glasses now. I had a quick look in Vision Express but there wasn't anything I liked or that really suited me so it looks like I'll be relying on my contacts for a while.

I had the advanced eye test done so in just under 48 hours pictures of the back of my eye will be available for me to view online...and of course I will be blogging them - it's really fascinating to look at.

That's me done for another two years apart from contact lens check ups...they are kinda fun though...get funky coloured dye put in to check the health of the eye, so far I've had yellow vision, purple vision, green vision and blue vision. It takes about an hour for the day to wear off and it amuses me greatly...but I am a tad odd.

Been in a bit of a bad mood today, I've had a to-do with my former employers where my ex team leader has being giving out private information about me which is in turn putting prospective employers/agencies off. I've raised a formal grievance but there's not much more I can do. I'm absolutely appalled to be honest. Firstly with how a chavvy little witch like her even got a team leaders post and second of all that she's been bad mouthing me to other companies. I'm not blowing my own trumpet but I went above and beyond what was expected of me as a Payroll Clerk, not just with actually doing my best with my payrolls but with the fact I was dealing with the very high earners salaries when I'd been there about a month. It's wasn't the kind of payroll you could fuck up and not be overly concerned...if I'd have fucked up I'd have got sacked. Well...OK I DID get sacked but that was due to a very bad time with the Endo and not because I fucked up.

Anyway, I'll see what comes of the formal grievance, it's all a waiting game now. I just hope they at least allow me to approve my reference from them because once that's done then every agency she's bad mouthed me to need to receive a copy of the new reference but in most cases it's too late.

I've now taken an agency to task about refusing to accept my application for a job, this is the same agency who contacted my previous employer without asking me first. Hmph.

On the job front I'm not having much luck. There's just no jobs out there unless I want to move miles away from everyone I know and love, which obviously I don't want to do that. There are a couple of things so I've applied but all I can do is wait and see if I hear anything.

Another thing that hasn't helped improve my mood is I need another sicknote (god love my GP she doesn't want me back at work until I've seen my consultant but I AM GOING STIR FOOKING CRAZY) and so I rang up today, explained that my post op appointment had been moved from the 29th January to the 19th February and as the GP didn't want me back at work could I get another sicknote. Got a phone call 5 minutes after hanging up the phone telling me I need to go in to see the doctor which is bloody ridiculous so when I get a cold from over anxious mothers taking their brats in for a case of the sniffles I will be well and truly pissed off.

That's my rant for the day I think...lets see what the GP/Agency/Ex Employers can do to fuck my Friday up!

Thursday 5 February 2009

Anyone call for a car Mechanic?

Not that I'm overly qualified but considering I don't have my own car to play with I'm a lot my car-capable than I thought I was.

So far I've de-snowed my dad's car, checked the engine hadn't *died*, checked the oil and refilled the wash bottle.

I've also for the first time ever *inserts a drum roll here* changed a headlight bulb!! Took a lot of grunting and swearing but it's done and I didn't loose a finger! Yay!!

xx

Wednesday 4 February 2009

Party Time





I've got a bit of a problem...do I buy this outfit to wear to my friends 30th in just under 2 weeks? Will funk it up with blue eyeshadow and jewellary...she is called Blue funnily enough. Mucho looking forward to it....I'll be reunited with my sewer kittens :D

My only concern (and a very good one) is that I'm going to end up taking my shoes off and throwing them in the nearest bin by the end of the night.

Eeek, do I go for the blue dress or the black dress?? I'm also thinking would be a good outfit for the Ashes night at the london stone which is possibly on the cards...hmmm. Decisions, decisions.

xx

Tuesday 3 February 2009

How I feel right now...

Tired
Bit pissed off
Tender
Upset for two of my endo angels :(
Fed up
Bored
Meh

In about two weeks time...expect an I'm in major pain post!

I've gotta go back to see my consultant on the 19th...that will be fun. I already know what they're going to say to me....go back on the pill everything will be fine - BOLLOCKS!I've been on 3 different types of pill now and none of them help. The POP just turns me into a manic depressive, the Loestrin 20 was too low a dose for hormone control and the microgynon...well that doesn't help at all. Plus I'll have a thorough prodding and poking. I'm really trying to stay upbeat about it all but the thought that I've already had two surgeries for treatment of endo and severe adhesions and I'm 22 makes me wonder just how much more can I take?

I don't know what the hell is wrong with me today, I blame PMT...I'm not normally like this :(

I do have to post this...it's a convo between me and my friend...well it made me chuckle: -

L says:
Cupotea?
Lis says:
please hon
L says:
coming up
Lis says:
yay!
L says:
tart?
Lis says:
bitch
L says:
no... do you want some
Lis says:
Yes please...and the tart :P
I knew what you meant!!
L says:
I knew what I meant too
Lis says:
what?
L says:
do you want some tart
the treacle variety not the two legged variety

So while I'm still chuckling I'm off!